Wake

Head ache Sin ache
Gave in to the other
Shooting up a hellish echo

It pulls me down
Even now
When my attention settles in

Sin that I am
Regret that I invited
Shrieking ring in the round

Drowned for the moment
Beneath the surface
Of His grace

Life Preserver

My legs are uselessly weak after trying to kick free from this demon up to this very moment
The fork of my freedom remains
Her back to the Light that shines on the dark
The dark that has been redeemed by the Light
But, because I cried, “Lord, save me,”
“Immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand,”
He caught me
Though the demons goad me
I remain
Floating on a sea of grace

From Matthew  14:25 KJV

And in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went unto them, walking on the sea. And when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, It is a spirit; and they cried out for fear. But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I, be not afraid. And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water. And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus. But when he saw the wind boysterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me. And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt? And when they were come into the ship, the wind ceased.

Humble Pie

From the July 15 entry of Brennan Manning’s Reflections for Ragamuffins: Daily Devotions

Peter writes in his first letter: “Clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’ Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s almighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time” (1 Peter 5:5b-6).
These words are both frightening and consoling. God resists, refuses, rejects the proud. But he delivers himself up, he gives himself totally to the humble and the little. Not only does he not resist them, but he cannot refuse them anything. The story of the Canaanite woman in Matthew 15:21-28 is a shinging example. “Yes, Lord,” she said to Jesus when he pointed out that his mission was to Israel alone, “but even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from the masters’ table.” She humbled herself, and Jesus exalted her. “Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.”
Jesus couldn’t resis the humility of this foreign woman, of the good thief, of Mary Magdalene.
“A man’s pride brings him low, but a man of lowly spirit gains honor.” Proverbs 29:23

This reading reveals a characteristic of Jesus which, in my opinion, is profoundly beautiful and right. I often get caught up in the idea that something that I do or don’t do can either bring me closer to or push me further from God. His Love is infinite and his wisdom omniscient. All that we can do is come to him in utter humility, admit our powerlessness, and allow him to infuse us with His power so that we can live in faith, soaked in grace, and let our lives more resemble Him. This is life lived more abundantly.

Love Forward

The past still haunts me from time to time
My eyes drift away from His gaze
I feel my legs sinking below the surface
But, He went to such lengths to forgive
Here I stand too desensitized to notice
The me that catches my own backward glance
Is not the self that wrestles today
Lord God Almighty Christ
Infuse my muscles with enough holy power
To kick free from this wheezing demon
And dash forward carried by the fire of grace
Grant me the faith to not look back
But to love forward

Brief Thought On Blogs Attempting To Refute God

If you don’t believe in God, why are you so concerned with hashing out the idea that He doesn’t exist in a blog? I ask this knowing that the times in my past when I’ve most wanted to stand up for the perspective of atheistic life were times when my own conscience shivered – because something was touching a sensitive nerve buried deep in my soul. If God doesn’t exist and doesn’t matter, why not blog about something else?

Christian Animal

Christianity is a strange animal. In one sense, the reality of God’s grace and the turn that he brought me to are as real as the chair that I’m sitting on. On the other hand, the line that separates sin from righteousness can become an idol that distorts faith to the point where I come unglued. The mystery that exists in how I can go from praying to fuming about an e-mail I received within the course of ten minutes completely befuddles me. Though, it is also interesting that within minutes of my realization of this personal contradiction, I came across this excerpt written by the late Rich Mullins:

“I would rather live on the verge of falling and let my security be in the all-sufficiency of the grace of God than to live in some kind of pietistic illusion of moral excellence – not that I don’t want to be morally excellent, but my faith isn’t in the idea that I’m more moral than anybody else. My faith is in the idea that God and His love are greater than whatever sins any of us commit.” (Rich Mullins: His Life And Legacy – An Arrow Pointing To Heaven, Pp.156)

Transition Skin

Packed up
Moved in
Carolina rain
Blurred stout
Sweat covered
Muscle strain
Tempers tested
Weary brain
Slumber seeking
Hard bent will
Extinguished Drive
Let His grace spill